So I like having a glass of wine in the afternoon. And the morning. Even though I have a weirdly low tolerance for alcohol. Anyway, I was having some wine and I was on the internet which is how Orklesque happened but instead of starting up an orc themed burlesque show (it happened for realsies at the an actual fancy venue) I ordered a spanking skirt and fishnet everything and fake lashes (with and without rhinestones) and then promptly forgot about everything except my ecig stuff which arrived in time for my clearomiser to be smashed by invisible malignant forces. Oh, and I ordered ecig stuff. So when I remembered I was going to check what I ordered and then I realised that this. was. The. Best. Thing. Ever! Because I got random presents in the mail! LOOK AT ALL OF THE LEG ACCOUTREMENTS ABOVE! Look at them! Then I got a spanking skirt which I remembered enough to be all "WOAH! XXXL! That'll fit me and then I CAN MOON PEOPLE" but then I realised as someone who is not super kinky that was a ridiculous idea and also it didn't fit. QUE TRYING TO FIND A NEW HOME! It turns out that I know a whole bunch of people who don't think it's weird that I'm trying to get rid of an ass-less skirt.
LESSON OF THIS: Getting foxed on and going on aliexpress results in exciting presents and proof that my human friends are rad.
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I'm pretty sure that my teeth are going yellow at an unexpected rate. I've already had one failed root canel (did you know that anesthetic can travel through the facial muscles to your eyeball? And if you can't feel your eye you can't control it and it goes all rogue and rolls around everywhere?), an abscessed tooth, another root canal and many, many fillings.
But this yellowing is horrible. I keep waiting for someone to comment that I've eaten their highlighter. I will write every day. Because otherwise my facebook will overflow with words.
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AuthorHannah Anthonia: Archives
August 2018
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