Random Rant that isn't related to mortality statistics:
<3 Heck yes, I wanna see baby photos in my fb feed-why? Because that person is sharing an intimate and transient moment of their life. Stop shaming people who share photos of their snot goblins. They are weird and adorable. <3 I wanna see selfies, ALL OF THE SELFIES! Why? Because in a world where people are constantly told they are less, less muscular, less sexy, less pretty, less well dressed, less worthy because they don't fit some random ideal I love it when people are comfortable sharing themselves. That goes for men, non binary, trans and everyone else who doesn't get represented much. <3 POST FOOD PHOTOS. Inspire me to cook, thank you for sharing a moment you clearly enjoyed. <3 Forgive dyslexics and those who the education system has failed, having different brain wiring or being failed by the educational system doesn't mean they are stupid or deserve to be mocked or treated poorly. <3 Learning a new skill? Talk about, post about, brag about it. People are amazing and all too frequently shamed for their amazing hobbies. Shame isn't healthy. Knowing amazing people is VERY HEALTHY. Doesn't matter if it's painting minis, making pasta, learning make up, taking up the naganata, paintballs or tree chopping. <3 Picking on people for vanity or for sharing mundane things is punching down, it's saying being proud, joyful and generous is unworthy and in an environment of sometimes crushing despair that is the internet that's a pretty stinky thing to do. STINKY. <3 Sharing only miserable things and acting like people must only post Important Things Relating To World Matters AND/OR Really Depressing Shit doesn't make someone smarter, it makes them possibly well informed but also disconnected and overwhelmed. If you want to empower people to make changes, give them ways to do so, brag about how far we've come, point out the possible solutions Social media allows people to connect but only if they are willing to connect and to connect means some level of vulnerability, so please post mundane, strange, gorgeous, thoughtful provoking, and/or smol moments
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This Is Why You Are Alive: Fuck you Barbara Someone was wrong on the internet. Someone did a post. In which she was wrong. About how she is responsible for her own safety and society and the community should in no way interfere with people to insure the safety of others. See what I mean? WRONG And that’s when I saw red because I just. I mean, how can someone, like, what the fuck Barbara. Do you grow your own crops? People are fragile things. Very fragile, squishy things. Too much of one thing can kill us while not enough can also do so. Things fall on us and we break. So I have created a list, a list that is by no means exhaustive but a list nonetheless called THIS IS WHY YOU ARE STILL ALIVE: FUCK YOU BARBARA Although her name isn’t Barbara, I just choose it randomly because it’s an older lady name. ANYHOW. You are alive today because hundreds of thousands of people have and are working on keeping you safe every single day. You are alive because humans actually care about shit happening to other humans or at least, don’t want shit happening to them. You are alive not just because of fucking rockstar maverick scientists and quotable heads of state but because thousands of people are working and have worked to keep you safe in small and minor ways. We don’t notice the work unless it stops working, that doesn’t mean it’s not there. That people aren’t there interfering and meddling in people's lives, poking fingers into marriages to say “domestic violence kills, let’s try to stop that”, shoving into workplaces to say “people shouldn’t sacrifice their lives to save someone a few bucks”. From the food you eat, to the roads you drive, to the people you interact with, to the work that you do, to the buildings you live and visit and work in-all of those things can kill you. But they don’t. Unless you take great risks, live in a 3rd world country or some post apocalyptic prepper homestead or have an extreme fucking job or hobby you are alive, not because of you and you being such a goddamn badass, you are alive because of other people taking responsibility for your safety and comfort. In conclusion, fuck you Barbara, you are wrong rationally, scientifically, historically and provably. You are still alive because we have food standards in 1st world countries, unlike developing countries like China where you might end up with melamine in your baby milk formula. Food poisoning kills 420,000 people globally each year but please, keep going on about health regulations that stop rat shit being in your takeaway being too onerous on small business owners because everyone needs to take responsibility for their own choices. There are more than 250 different foodborne diseases but I’m sure you know all about them from growing and processing your own food there. BARABARA http://www.bbc.com/news/10565838 http://www.businessinsider.com/annual-food-poisoning-deaths-2015-12/?r=AU&IR=T Building standards You are still alive because we have building standards, here in Australia we have the National Construction Code which means that investment companies can’t build fucking death traps. They still try, I mean Macquarie Capital and GIC are got pissed as hell at the Queensland government because it refused to give them occupancy permits for their new student unit building in Brisbane. Turns out, it had the same panelling that helped turn buildings into infernos around the world, including the Lacrosse fire at Docklands. Although, side note: if they can stop a fucking wooden necklace from entering the country the should be able to stop illegal building materials from making it in, like there are only two answers as to why you’d be importing cheap but incredibly flammable cladding and the answers are one, having the big fuck off bonfire ever-no marshmallows, you will poison yourself, and two, burning the poor to death. 71 people died in the Grenfell tower, which took less than an hour to burn almost the entire 24 story building because of the fucking cladding and more would have died if not for the Muslims next door staying up late for the first night of ramadan. Booyah Godbotherers, the muslims get to be holier than thou over that because they literally ran into and climbed up a burning tower to help save the poor. BUT OVER ALL BARABARA, you can’t build a building that can kill it’s occupants by burning, poisoning or collapsing on them. AND I LIKE TO THINK THAT THAT IS A GOOD THING. A good thing. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-06-19/london-high-rise-building-materials-banned-in-uk-ministers-say/8629106 https://www.thefifthestate.com.au/innovation/building-construction/non-compliant-building-materials-back-in-spotlight-as-occupancy-permits-refused-for-iglu-student-units https://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/state-politics/fire-alarm-sparks-panic-in-death-trap-lacrosse-tower/news-story/5705aa4da00a07e429e3f789ecde6112 Building Material Standards You are still alive because we generally don’t use fucked up building materials like we did in the past. America lost 17,648 people to asbestos between 2004 and 2010, not lost like Harold Holt, lost like DIED. They are dead. Families mourning-the whole shebang The world health organisation estimates that globally there are 143,000 deaths from lead, mostly in paint. BUT NOT YOU BARABARA, I BET YOUR CABINETS ARE PAINTED IN GREY CASHMERE by BENJAMIN MOORE (also while researching for a paint brands I found an article in Elle Decor called, I shit you not, 24 BEST GREY PAINTS ACCORDING TO TOP INTERIOR DESIGNERS) so congrats Barabara. Your kids are unlikely to be retarded from lead paint unlike the 600,000 new cases annually. GOLD STAR. Oh, wait that’s right, you are personally responsible for keeping yourself safe so I guess that means you also make your own fucking paint. Can’t rely on the community and government now, can we? As a side note: I do use the word retarded which is an ugly word but there is no nice word for partially destroying the brains of healthy children so that they will never live independently, will always require care and will never be able to pick up a book and lose themselves in it because a bunch of people didn’t want to spend the money to get lead free paint or to make money creating cheap paint for those bastards. Retardation is an ugly word, it is an ugly word but it is an ugly situation. You can soften it by saying “intellectual impairment” or whatever the fuck you like but those kids are fucked mate, they’re fucked. And I think softening the situation by using softer words is also fucked. https://www.upi.com/WHO-143000-deaths-per-year-from-lead-poisoning/11551382150700/ https://www.asbestos.com/mesothelioma/australia/ https://www.asbestos.com/mesothelioma/death-rate/ WTF 24 BEST GREY PAINTS ACCORDING TO TOP INTERIOR DESIGNERS https://www.elledecor.com/design-decorate/color/g3233/grey-paints/ The Haber Bosch Process We have enough arable land, Barbara, using traditional farming techniques to support roughly 4 billion people and yet the current global population is 7 ½ billion. You are alive today Barabara because of the Haber–Bosch process. The Germans who invented it (and also some other shit that had one of them a convicted war criminal when it came time to win the Nobel Prize thus proving to be multifaceted indeed and possibly the most German overachiver) call it Bread From Air. In brief, crops need nitrogen to grow and we take the nitrogen out every time we harvest the crops because it’s now in the plants and Haber and Bosch were like fuck, 78% of air is nitrogen WHY DON’T WE JUST EXPLODE THE AIR UNTIL IT GIVES US WHAT WE WANT and thus one of the greatests technological substitutions of all time came about. I’m only partially fucking joking about the exploding the air thing, to make the nitrogen that grows the crops we all love and eat, it takes 1% Of all the enery generated IN THE WORLD. ONE PERCENT. Fuck. I don’t understand the science but I do understand explosions. BOOM. But for those do science it’s meant to take the heat of a pizza oven with the pressure of being two miles under the ocean. That means something to someone. I am not that someone. ANYHOW so Barbara, unless you’re using compost stew and bat poo you’ve carefully harvested your fucking self to grow your own goddamn crops safe from government interference and the tryanny of correct labelling then you are alive today because two german jacks decided to explode air and then a bunch of people distributed it and then a bunch of people decided you couldn’t label shit as shit unless it was the shit on the label. You are still alive today because we have WORKPLACE STANDARDS AND BELIEVE IN OCCUPATIONAL HEALTH AND SAFETY TRAINING 3,414 died in Australia in the 13 years from 2003 to 2016 while working. Which is shithouse but imagine what the numbers would be like if we didn’t have those stupid videos and OH&S training-oh wait, we don’t because we can look at DEVELOPING economies which don’t have our namby pamby fucking laws and see how they treat their surviving workers. In Bangladesh 1,242 recorded deaths in the workplace in two years. TWO YEARS. Fuck. And that’s just what’s recorded because for some fucking reason they regard 89% of workers as working in the “informal sector” (??) which is NOT regulated or recorded. It doesn’t help that a lot of workplaces use expired boilers, which explode and exploding boilers have killed 18 men at a time, I shit you not, 18, and they’re still urging the government to take initiatives to ban “the indiscriminate use of asbestos”, I mean ⅓ of ship-breaking labourers sampled are affected by it so that’s another ticking time of workplace fatalities. And that’s just one job. To quote a tumblr post, because I need people to think I am hip and know the internets, a workplace officer wrote about his training and how he scoffed at rule that toxic material should not be stored where the crew sleeps on ships which just seemed PATENTLY OBVIOUS THAT PEOPLE SHOULDN’T SLEEP WITH TOXIC MATERIAL and his teacher was like “every rule we have was written in blood”. So remember every time you read through OH&S guides that every single one of those rules is because some poor bastard was injured, maimed or killed because that rule wasn’t there. Oh wait, Barabara, I bet you, being responsible for your own safety and in no way believe that rules should be imposed for safety of others just ignore that shit. Good luck with your new stump hands and getting a lung transplant. https://www.safeworkaustralia.gov.au/statistics-and-research/statistics/fatalities/fatality-statistics http://www.dhakatribune.com/bangladesh/2017/12/30/workplace-hazards-bangladesh-killed-1242-workers-2017/ Do you have a man in your life Barbara? A husband or son or brother or father? He might still be alive because of changing ideals of masculinity. This isn’t wishy washy nonsense, here’s a quote from an oil rig worker about watching his work colleague-well you’ll see “The man kicked the handle, and the tension on the pipe released. It caught the man's ankle as it whipped around. "In about three seconds, it spun him around about 80 times," Chreene says. A few feet from the man was a post, and "his head was hitting that post like a rotten tomato." They got 15 minutes to mourn after watching their friend and colleague die, but that was it. "I mean, that hole cost a lot of money," he says. "We got to go to work."” This was at a point that Shell was building the biggest goddamn oil rig of all time and they needed to reduce fatalities and injuries and you know how they did that? By hiring a small, half blind French woman who taught all the managers to cry, that’s right, she got them to open up and show vulnerability in front of their colleagues and do you want to know what the result of that was? AN EIGHTY FOUR PERCENT DROP IN WORKPLACE INJURIES AND DEATHS. Learning how to be vulnerable, ask questions, admit to ignorance saves lives and is also anathema to many traditional forms of masculinity. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/06/17/482203447/invisibilia-how-learning-to-be-vulnerable-can-make-life-safer Friendship Hey Barbara, do you have friends? As a woman, I’m pretty much betting that you do even though chances are they’re more like a black hearted coven of bobble headed logically challenged boomers nodding along while you spew ignorant bile about personal responsibility like you aren’t one federal law change or a single bureaucrats spelling mistake away from painful injury or death. You might like to think that you’re so healthy because you eat right, jog and don’t smoke but those prejudiced crones around you are also helping you. Loneliness kills, it’s bad for cardiovascular health, mental health, shortened life spans, higher rates of infections, higher rates of cancer, as well as problems with learning and memory. Basically, being lonely will fuck you up 20 ways to Sunday. Having friends though? They’ll help you hold off dementia longer, improve your mental, and basically do wonders for your body. Also, men are at greater risk of dying of loneliness than women. Because you know, we don’t teach our boys to make and hold onto their friendships. So if you're one of those people who get aggressive about their partner talking to people of the gender they are attracted to, I hope you know that by restricting who someone can and cannot be friends based on jealosy-you're also helping send them to an early grave. GO YOU BABARA https://www.livescience.com/18800-loneliness-health-problems.html https://www.sciencealert.com/widespread-loneliness-is-killing-people-and-we-need-to-start-taking-this-seriously https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2017/01/18/loneliness-might-be-a-bigger-health-risk-than-smoking-or-obesity/#503fc79225d1 https://www.bostonglobe.com/magazine/2017/03/09/the-biggest-threat-facing-middle-age-men-isn-smoking-obesity-loneliness/k6saC9FnnHQCUbf5mJ8okL/story.html http://time.com/4682031/how-to-prevent-dementia/ Education
You are still alive because of public education-or at least you are likely to live longer. Part of the problem is if people can’t read they can’t read the instructions for medications, the other part is guesswork as the more education you have the more likely you are to outlive people with less education. Being able to read and write lengthens people's lives (so governments cutting funding to schools can be viewed as governments wishing those kids to die young) and the more education you have the longer you are likely to live (so making attending universities expensive is another way to insure the only old people around to make decisions are snobby buttflaps from wealthy families). AGAIN, an interconnected community is what improves and lengthens lives and acting like you owe nothing to society or the community is beyond bizarre. “Low health literacy was the top predictor of mortality after smoking, also surpassing income and years of education, the study showed. Most of the difference in mortality among people with inadequate literacy was due to higher rates of death from cardiovascular disease. "It's a matter of life or death," said David Baker, M.D., lead author of the study and chief of general internal medicine at the Feinberg School and at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. "The excess number of deaths among people with low literacy was huge. The magnitude of this shocked us." https://www.northwestern.edu/newscenter/stories/2007/07/health.html http://www.ibtimes.com.au/does-education-affect-life-expectancy-1291160 Why Bisexual Women Don't Like Unicorn Hunters AKA The List Of Expectations And Depressing Statistics31/7/2018 Ok, so there seems to be a lot of confusion about what unicorn hunting is and misunderstandings as to why bi/pan ladies don't like couples and I have some resources to help because reading is fun, empathy builds character, spreading knowledge is virtuous and getting rid of misconceptions is good. DISCLAIMERS: ⦁ There is *nothing* inherently wrong with triads, threesomes, polyfidelity or couples that date together-being against unicorn hunting does not mean hating/disliking those things. It means being against unicorn hunting, if you’re confused read on! ⦁ Kinks are great, unnegotiated/coerced/non-consensual power imbalances are not great. ⦁ Everyone is entitled to have preferences but a preference for something does not give somebody a right to what they prefer. ⦁ Unicorn hunters can and do target bi men and straight women but I'll be focusing on the common MFF seeking here. ⦁ I will be using sources primarily from Australia, the UK and the US, anecdotal as well as personal experience and submissions to online groups. Bisexual Women To start let us go over who Unicorn Hunters are targeting. How are bisexual women different to straight women and lesbians, other than the obvious? And why are they so tetchy?
What Is A Unicorn Hunter? There is a difference between a couple that dates or swings together and what I and many other bi/pan ladies call a "unicorn hunter", even if both groups are interested in dating or having sex with bisexual women. Unicorn hunters have a few trademarked behaviors/expectations/patterns and here are some of the specific ones that cause a lot of upset to bisexual women. They can by a “polyam” couple or a swinging couple or a couple that is just looking for a one night stand. What matters how they view bisexual women as essentially disposable sex and/or emotional support and/or relationship saving devices instead of human beings. Unicorn hunters might not do everything on this list but they usually do at least 2 or 3 of them:
So, to recap! According to unicorn hunters bisexual women should be:
Unicorn hunters might not do everything on this list but they usually do at least 2 or 3 of them. Bisexual Women And Community Responses All too often when bisexual women speak up and say “unicorn hunters make me uncomfortable” or “I don’t feel safe in a community that supports unicorn hunting” bystanders will rush in to defend unicorn hunting feeling it to be an attack on all couples who date or play together. This is even though if a woman had posted “ugh, creeps are the worst” no one would rush in to defend all cis straight men even though most creeps are cishet men. Creeps are usually cis hetrosexual men who do certain things or act in certain ways to justify the moniker. So do unicorn hunters. People who defend unicorn hunters likely haven’t been on the receiving end of unicorn hunters’ attentions but feel confident in declaring that nothing is wrong with them. I have. When I work at cabaret shows roving and going out to bars, it’s not unusual for women to grab me, touch my breasts or motor boat me without permission in front of their male partner, thinking it’s ok because we’re both women, instead of it being sexual assault. Or I’ll have a random kiss at the bar only to discover she’s staring at her male partner. I have received vile offers for threesomes, creepy messages and women who lie about being single on dating websites. Those are unicorn hunters. I have been approached by friends and declined; and approached by friends and said yes, depending on how I feel. Those are couples who date and play together. There is a difference. I started this by going over a few statistics about bisexual women because I want it to be quite clear that when people defend unicorn hunting they are signaling to a demographic that is at higher risk of sexual harassment, stalking, domestic abuse, and sexual assault (among many other things) that THEY SHOULDN’T COMPLAIN, that by virtue of their sexuality it’s ok to objectify them, harass them and engage in other predatory behavior and that if a bisexual woman speaks up, as a member of the vulnerable group being targeted then she, SHE is the bully. Bisexual women deserve safe, supportive communities and should be empowered to speak up when people are engaging in dehumanising and unethical behavior. Bisexual Women And Frustration Bisexual women face a lot of hurdles, from increased likelihood of mental illness, suicidal ideation and stigma, to dating. "According to a National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Study, “61% of bisexual women reported experiencing rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime.” Comparatively, 17% of straight women and 13% of lesbians have experience one of the above.” Just in case you forgot. Women on the whole receive more rape and death threats online than men,”Researchers found that women received twice as many death threats and threats of sexual violence as men.” Add in being openly bisexual and it can only get worse. Frequently in addition to being expected to bear all of that, they’re expected to do so with good grace.There is an expectation of emotional labor on bisexual women to calmly and thoughtfully explain and educate why sexualising, fetishing and literally “hunting” them is upsetting. That to be angry, cranky, upset, snarky, sad, depressed at how they are treated is to be hysterical and that unless they are unfailingly cheerful, empathic, forgiving and nice then any argument they make is in invalid. Bisexual women’s voices in discussions about them frequently seem to be discounted because they are upset and while calm arguments tend to be the most persuasive, that doesn’t make their opinions, feelings and experiences baseless or irrational. Sidenote on Polyamorous Communities “As a queer person who identifies mostly as bisexual, I’ve often felt like I don’t belong in either LGBTQIA-designated or straight spaces.” is a quote that resonates with me, and as a bisexual woman I sometimes feel polyamorous spaces aren’t for me either because the communities frequently do not just tolerate but support people who see nothing wrong with fetishing, dehumanising and objectifying bisexual women. BIG THANK YOU TO THE MEMBERS OF SOUNDS LIKE UNICORN HUNTING BUT OK ( www.facebook.com/groups/168873116957028/ ) Other Resources There are worksheets for couples: https://polypretzels.wordpress.com/category/polyamory/couplepolypitfalls/ Relationship Bill of Rights: https://www.morethantwo.com/relationshipbillofrights.html Guide for people interested in dating a couple in a healthy way! https://www.morethantwo.com/coupledating.html Help, editing, ideas, rephrasing from: Matthew Cengia Travvi Relationship problems from bisexual objectifaction from husbands https://www.yourtango.com/2018313082/why-i-regret-telling-my-husband-im-bisexual
I'm giving myself space here by starting at #45 because honestly, I catch a lot of public transport since I can't drive. So, I lived in Bundoora and I had to go to Greensbough which was like, a 15 minute drive away IF THAT but I had to catch a tram/bus/train to get to and it took a long time. Until I noticed that there was a bust stop SUPER close by that goes to Greensbough via the Lalor shops which seems not on the way but I went to the stop across the road and that one was all like NORTHLAND SC which is not Greensbough and therefore of no use to me. SO, I got ready super early because I have anxiety and sometimes that means I'll turn up an hour or two or three early (do not judge me with your judgy eyeballs human) and that was lucky because it turns out that the Lalor shops are SUPER not on the way to Greensbough. My driver noticed me since I was sitting at the front like a meercat getting a beady eye for apporaching suburbs grimacing with worry and also because I'd asked 4 times if he went to Greensbough and he decided to teach me Macedonian. Also that one of the trees at on the way was fruiting (I had to eat some), that his regulars are lovely and that I clearly needed a Real Man in my life. Because Australian men let women buy, BUY their own food, like, can you imagine? He has a girl but she's in South America where she has been for 3 years and maybe she's not coming back. I also needed his number even though I explained my phone was on the fritz and not storing new numbers. So, that's how I turned up at a JSA appointment muttering "hello, how are you?" repeatedly in Macedonian. I was exactly on time. Here is an unrelated selfie of me from that time. I am not speaking Macedonian.
or the best way for your boyfriend to meet your dadJust to anchor why I'm writing about it I was telling someone and she was like "that's not funny, that's terrible" and then I felt like maybe I am a terrible human being. Also, she had a tattoo gun in her hand so I didn't elaborate in case she tattooed "monster" on some public part of my anatomy and then I'd have to lie to people have having a really big penis. Which would still be better than explaining that I laughed at my brothers funeral like it was bad thing*. So, on the way to my brothers funeral I was talking to Joefie since he was driving and also my boyfriend and I was and am quite fond of talking to him. The conversation went like this: Me: "We're going to the place where they BURN PEOPLE" Joe: "Don't say that" Me: "But they do, they BURN PEOPLE there" Joe: "I know but don't say that. It's rude" Me: "But they do, they do BURN PEOPLE there" Joe: "HANNAH DON'T SAY THAT" Me: "......" Joe: "Hannah...." Me: "WE ARE GOING TO THE PLACE WHERE THEY BURN PEOPLE" Joe: "Hannah, I know but we have to be calm and respectful while we're-" Me: "Oh look my dad!" Joe: "What?" Me: "You can almost see where he should be if you stop reversing" Joe: "WHY IS YOUR DAD BEHIND THE CAR I ALMOST RAN HIM OVER AT HIS SONS FUNERAL" Me: "Because I waved at him. While we're at the place where they BURN PEOPLE" We get out of the car and Joefie for some reason is flustered for some reason (possibly because he's has some weird reaction to crematoriums where you're not allowed to describe their function like they're Voldemort and he's a wizard even though, it must be said, it is the place where they burn people). So Joe is hovering and being all "I am so sorry" and dad (looking like an extra from Foyles War in an overcoat) is all "Darling! You almost ran me over!" and I was all "DADDY! This is the man I love who I'm dating and who totally didn't mean to almost run you over at your sons funeral" then Joe was like "I AM SO SORRY" while also trying to channel as much respectful calmness as possible for someone whose just been driving a mad woman around before almost strawberry jamming the father of the woman he loves but failing ADORABLY.w My dad waved it off and was like "nah, actually this would be the BEST place to cark like, you could just walk in and ask for a big pizza thing and be like 'we got another one' because this is the place where they BURN PEOPLE". Welcome to the family, we like clothes, terrible jokes and get over possible murder attempts really quickly. *The worst thing I did was calculate that my mother was buying me shoes and Myers had imitation Bordello shoes which I couldn't afford (either real Bordello shoes or classy Myers not-bordello-only-totally-like-bordello shoes) so I ended up carrying my brothers casket in a pair of shoes I later wore onstage at a burlesque show. In other news I learnt that when people compliment your shoes it is apparently awkward to mention that you helped carry your brothers casket (WHICH WAS AMAZING AND MADE BY HIS FRIENDS) in them. Who knew? It's basically the most noteworthy thing about them given that they are not Bordello shoes and are therefore less interesting on their own. Joefie and me were together for 3 and a bit years after that, 4 in total and he's still one of the most important people in my world even if I embarass him sometimes. Clearly suitors don't need trial by fire, they need trial by PLACE WITH FIRE. Where they burn people.
Dating someone new and gave him a sword, a bottle of 15yo whisky and some home cooked food. Have you ever gift wrapped a sword? Harder than it looks my friend, also, I bloody hate crafting, basically the sign of affection wasn't the presents, it was THAT I WRAPPED THEM. And like, wrote NEATLY in the card. I'm a homeschooler and my handwriting is stuck in the year I left school which was grade 3. EFFORT, so much effort to write neatly. Anyhow, he broke up with me the next date*. Now I can say that giving a man scotch, a sword and some home made food is bad luck from experience and get my next date to curse the sudden influx of kawaii penis stickers or penguin classics or whatever. There is no way this can go wrong. *Not because of the presents**. **Although maybe I should tone down the love bombing, hard to tell, I mean, what if we date for like a month and then I unleash the love bombing and then they're all like "NOOOO, NOT SUPER AFFECTION TO MY FACE" and then break up with me and then I'll have wasted a month. So anyway, there are like, 5 love languages (service, gifts, words, touch, and spending "quality time" together) and I'm enthusiastically fluent in all of them when I'm not being an introverted yeti beast. Weebly was all "I can't show this post unless there is a picture" so here is a badly edited selfie of me tryiing to look moody and like I have a strong jawline.
What's weird is that I'm not even in the preferred demographic of male okc users (women between 20-23). Anyhow, I get a lot of messages and since I post them on fb I thought I should maybe also post them here. I AM NOT ALONE, as I told the guy who was upset I posted this conversations. This guy was amazing to hang out with but then had an anxiety attack which I'm now sensing is a theme with guys I date. #awkward
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August 2018
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